


Magic Me

by Alierana



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, mostly canon, slow build romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 08:50:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1463185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alierana/pseuds/Alierana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a 'what if Merlin was a girl' fic. This will pretty much follow the canon except that Merlin's a girl. I think I know what pairing I want but things change so I won't say so that if it does no one is disappointed. This being pretty canon means Morgana will go bad, Arthur will end up with Gwen, and things, especially at the beginning, will stay the same and if things do change, and some this will DEFINITELY change, it will be later. </p>
<p>Anyway that pretty much sums up the major stuff so please read. My first posting here so please be nice</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Dragon's Call pt1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so, I don't own Merlin, and probably never will despite my wish to, and, even though I hate it, the ending won't change either. These chapters will probably each be half an episode but some my be split up more or less and I won't promise to be consistent because I get busy. If you have something you think would be cool, or something that should happen later on, give me the episode and what you want and I'll see what I can do. I mostly like the canon so I'll try to stick with it but if there is something you'd like expanded on or an episode that you think needs more detail I'll try to focus on it. I'll also do that with my favorite episodes too.  
> I'll also say that I know people usually change a name when they change the character's gender but I don't want to because it annoys me a little bit. So Merlin will be Merlin even though I'm writing him as a her. (I'll also try to be careful and make sure I do write her instead of him)  
> Anyway I hope you like this story and as I continue to write you continue to read. Have at it then.

She had been traveling for going on three days. She had been careful to avoid most roads because she could survive in the forest better than on the main road, mostly because in the forest no one would notice her using magic if, when, she slipped. Knowing she should be careful because magic was illegal and get her killed should be enough of a deterrent but it wasn't so it was better to not be seen, just in case.

She could see the outline of Camelot now and wished, once again, that her mom had never discovered that Will knew of her magic because then she wouldn't have been sent away. Camelot may be a great place and her Uncle Gaius could be a wonderful person but she wasn't ready to leave her mom, and, more importantly, she didn't want to be trapped in a big city where people are always watching.

Still there was nothing she could do no matter that she didn't want to come and Will didn't want her to go. The only upside to the whole situation was that, being so far away from Elador, Will wouldn't be able to continually badger her about marriage.

With a sigh she continued the final trek of her journey.

**No person, no matter how great, can know their destiny. They cannot glimpse their part in the great story that is about to unfold. Like everyone, they must live and learn. And so it will be for the young warlock arriving at the gates of Camelot. A girl that will, in time, foster the legend. Her name: Merlin.**

She entered the city quietly and was ignored by the people around her. So far this was going better than she could have hoped for, or at least it was until she heard a thundering voice. She moved in closer so she could see better and immediately wished that she hadn't. A person, who she assumed was the king stood tall on a balcony above the people. "Let this serve as a lesson to all. This man, Thomas James Collins, is adjudged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic. And, pursuant to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned on penalty of death. I pride myself as a fair and just king, but for the crime of sorcery, there is but one sentence I can pass," he signals the executioner and continues, "When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos, but with the people's help magic was driven from the realm. So I declare a festival to celebrate twenty years since the Great Dragon was captured and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery. Let the celebrations begin."

With horrified eyes she watched this execution, this beheading, of someone because they had magic. Because they were someone like her. Now she knew that coming here was a bad idea but she couldn't turn around and leave, at least she couldn't until she saw her Uncle Gaius.

She was ready to leave this horrifying scene but there was another voice, the voice of an elder woman suffering a great pain, that wailed, "There is only one evil in this land, and it is not magic! It is you! With your hatred and your ignorance! You took my son! And I promise you, before these celebrations are over, you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a son for a son."

The king, Uther, had started with a semi-sympathetic look but by the end he had looked to be in an utter rage, "SEIZE HER!!"

Then the woman said some words she didn't catch before vanishing in a whirlwind of smoke and dust. 

All of this left Merlin feeling concerned for her own safety and with a reassurance that if nothing else Camelot wouldn't be boring.

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

Merlin left the horrifying scene as soon as she could gather enough courage to move her feet. She wasn't a naturally timid person but she was still out of her element and until she could get a handle on this place she wasn't sure she could be her normal bubbly sarcasm filled self.

When she was still lost a few minutes later and was decidedly not happy with walking in circles she found her way to a guard and asked, "Where would I find Gaius, the- the court physician?"

He looked a bit annoyed and it probably had to do with the fact that she still looked like a skinny boy with Will's old clothes, which were a little big by the way, on. She had a girl would receive better treatment but decided not to linger on the idea long since she wasn't fond of being treated like a silly girl. Still he pointed to a sign that hung just inside the arch and she felt a little stupid for asking but nodded before approaching the door.

She slid it open and peaked inside. "Hello," it was more a whisper than a call.

When no one answered Merlin slipped inside and looked around. When she saw him he was fixing his bookshelf above her so she cleared her throat and tried again, "Hello. Gaius?"

She must of startled him because at the sound of his name he had fumbled and fallen backwards from the bookshelf stairs and the railing broke at contact with his wait. She was scared and worried so it was no surprise, to her at least, when her magic reacted instinctively. Her eyes glowed a bright gold and Gaius was falling so much slower now and with that extra time she located a bed and moved it under him so he would land safely. It was the least she could do after causing him to fall but she realized her mistake immediately.

Well, not so much immediately as she realized her mistake as soon as she heard Gaius's voice sounding angry and a little freaked out, "What did you just do?"

She couldn't answer, not after what she had just witnessed. She tried but no actual words would come, "Emm ahh."

"Tell me!" he commanded.

Since she couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth she tried a lie, "I- I- I have no idea what happened." it didn't sound convincing even to her own ears so she knew he wouldn't believe her.

He seemed less worried no and more annoyed, "If anyone had seen that..."

Merlin felt the need to defend herself, "Er, no! That- that was, that was nothing to do with me. That- that was..."

"I know what it was! I just want to know where you learned how to do it!"

Lying was obviously not working but she couldn't bring herself to drop the act after seeing that man beheaded for a talent she had as well, "Nowhere."

"So how is it you know magic?"

"I don't."

He wasn't letting up, if anything he was become more persistent, and angry, "Where did you study?... Answer me!"

Merlin started leaning more toward the truth since the lie wasn't working and he was getting louder, "I- I've never studied magic or, or been taught."

"Are you lying to me, boy?" forget the part where she was called a boy because who could really blame him with how she looked right now she was being accused of lying after the first honest thing she said.

She desperately asked, "What do you want me to say?" because it seemed like nothing would vindicate her.

"The truth!"

He made it sound so easy and her rebellious nature had her answering immediately, "I was born this way!"

"Impossible," he said easily, "Who are you?"

That made her pause. She had forgotten to introduce herself, "Oh, erm," she started rummaging through her bag to locate the letter her mother had written on her behalf and presented him with it, "I have this letter."

"I don't have my glasses."

So she decided to just introduce herself and hope he knew her name, "I'm Merlin."

That made him pause and squinted at her, probably trying to decide if he believed that she was, in fact, a girl. "Hunith's daughter?"

"Yes!" she cried, relieved to be out of the previous conversation and that he knew her name.

Except now he seemed confused, "You're not supposed to be here until Wednesday!"

"It is Wednesday."

He looked away embarrassed then looked back at her, "Ah, right then. You better put your bag in there."

"You- you won't say anything about, erm..." She was pretty sure he wouldn't now that he knew who she was but she couldn't be sure and that made her nervous.

"No," and she sighed in relief, "Although, Merlin, I should say thank you."

She smiled and then headed to the room he had pointed at. She was tired and would probably end up going straight to sleep.

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

After he was sure she was asleep Gaius began the letter from his sister.

_My dear Gaius, I turn to you for I feel lost and alone and don't know who to trust. It is every mother's fate to think her child is special, and yet I would give my life that Merlin were not so. Ours is a small village and she is so clearly at odds with people here that, if she were to remain, I fear what would become of her. She needs a hand to hold, a voice to guide, someone that might help her find a purpose for her gifts. I beg you, if you understand a mother's love for her child, keep her safe, and may God save you both._

He silently promised to keep his niece safe and then headed to bed.

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

In the castle Morgana stood at the window looking out at the view when she heard Uther from behind her, "Morgana."

She sighed, but answered, "Yes?"

"What is this? Why aren't you joining us at the feast?" he sounded honestly curious and slightly annoyed.

"I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for a celebration. That poor mother." she just wanted him to understand why she wasn't in the mood to celebrate and maybe not force her to go. Anything more was delusional.

"It was simple justice for what he'd done."

"To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone." She wondered if she was being as unreasonable as he seemed to think she was being.

"You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like." he spoke as if she was an ignorant child and couldn't possibly understand anything about the real world, but she did know killing people for no reason was wrong.

"How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?"

She knew that she had pushed him too far by the look on his face, "Until they realize there is no room for magic in my kingdom! You will be with me when I greet Lady Helen."

She couldn't help but keep speaking, "I told you! I want no part in these celebrations!"

"I'm your guardian! I expect you to do as I ask. If you show me no respect at least respect our finest singer."

He was angry but she was too so as she delivered her parting line she stormed off to both make her point and stop the argument from escalating past what Uther would forgive, "You know, the more brutal you are, the more enemies you will create!"

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

No one knew that outside of Camelot, in the forest, Lady Helen was being killed and the old witch who had sworn revenge on Uther had taken her place. No one knew what was about to begin.

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

Merlin woke to someone whispering her name into her ear, but no one was there and she didn't hear it again. Before she could investigate Gaius walked in, "I got you water. You didn't wash last night."

"Sorry," her mom would've had a fit if she hadn't washed the night before.

Gaius didn't say anything about it though besides that, "Help yourself to breakfast."

Merlin nodded and went to the table to sit and eat. It was out of the corner of her eye that she saw the filled bucket spill and she instinctively acted as she would've if she had been back with her mom and froze the bucket and water in place. She would've put the water back in and righted the bucket but she saw Gaius's face and that shock caused her to release the bucket, allowing it to fall.

"How did you do that? Did you incant a spell in your mind?" Unlike yesterday he wasn't speaking in fear or anger, but mostly curiousity.

"I don't know any spells."

"What did you do? There must be something."

Merlin just shrugged as she grabbed a mop, "It just happens."

He placed a small sac on the table and said, "Well, we better keep you out of trouble. You can help me until I find some paid work for you. Here."

"Hollyhock and Feverfew for Lady Percival, and this is for Sir Olwin. He's as blind as a weevil, so warn him not to take it all at once."

"Okay," she said.

"And here," Gaius said as he handed her a plate with a sandwich, "Off you go. And Merlin! I need hardly tell you that the practice of any form of enchantments will get you killed."

He didn't need to tell her that, not after her first day. That brought back the thought that maybe she should leave but she didn't hate it here, so maybe she would wait just a bit longer.

_~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~ _

When Merlin got to Sir Olwin's room she handed him the potion but before she could recite Gaius's warnings he had already downed it all in one go and there was nothing she could do about it now that he'd drunk it so she just shrugged, "I'm sure it's fine."


	2. The Dragon's Call pt2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is still the first episode and continues where the last chapter leaves off.

She moved through Camelot without causing much of a distrubance. It probably had to do with the fact that she was dressed like a skinny, poorly kept, boy. Knowing that didn't make her want to dress up and in infact just encouraged her to continue the way she was because she didn't want attention because attention caused problems. Not that she was beautiful or anything. She was lanky and while she did have breasts they were always wrapped tightly because they got in the way of her adventures with will and boys would always try to coddle her. 

Still she figured her mom would be proud of her for staying under the radar, but as soon as she thought it she knew she had gotten too ahead of herself because she saw a group of nights ahead as she crossed the drawbridge gate. A blonde boy hollered, "Where's the target?"

She heard the people around the blonde boy laugh and she felt bad for the boy being harassed by the group of, what looked to be, knights, or soon to be knights.

The boy they were picking on was just so docile that she felt bad, "There, Sir?"

The blonde threw the boy an exasperated look, "It's in the sun?"

"But, it's not that bright," the boys responded sounding confused and wary.

"A bit like you then?" the blonde asked causing his friends to laugh and it made her teeth clench. There were bullies in Elador too and no matter where it happened it made Merlin sick to her stomach.

Still the boy being picked seemed willing to do whatever was asked of him, "I'll put the target on the other end, shall I, Sir?" and then he took the initiative and the boy, who she could only conclude was a servant, began to carry the target toward the wall.

One of the others took this opportunity to speak up. The knight said, "Teach him a lesson. Go on, boy."

They were egging him on and the blonde responded in kind, "This'll teach him."

Another Knight took this time to speak up, "Yeah." he wanted to let them know that he was on their side.

Now that he had the support of his friends the blonde picked up a dagger and threw it at the target the serving boy was carrying. That startled the boy and he called out, "Hey! Hang on!"

The blonde chastised him for attempting to stop, "Don't stop!"

The other boy took a few steps back and asked meekly, "Here?"

"I said keep moving!" he yelled as he threw another dagger at the target the boy was holding, "Come on, run!"

Merlin couldn't take this harassment any more and started to approach the knights and the arrogant blonde boy in order to save the servant. As she approached the servant dropped the target at it rolled toward her, so she stepped in front of it to stop it from going any farther. When the boys finally looked at where the target had stopped and saw her she put a hand on her hip and said, "That's enough."

She already hated these boys but had to remind herself she couldn't magically make their pants drop, or she couldn't while they were looking her in the eyes.

The blonde boy's eyes narrowed at her, "What?" he asked sharply, in what sounded like disbelief.

"You've had your fun, my friend." she said tightly urging the boys to just drop this because she was so very bad at controlling her temper.

"Do I know you?" the boy asked arrogantly.

She smiled and her eyes narrowed, if they fought she would have the advantage because she had practiced with Will for years, learning to hide her eyes, "I'm Merlin." was said innocently with a tilt of the head.

"So I don't know you." he concluded lifting his chin.

Damn him, "No."

"Yet you called me 'friend'?"

"That was my mistake," she started with a relaxed smile.

"Yes, I would think so." he said cutting across what she was saying.

She ignored him and just continued to speak her easy smile becoming more vicious with every word, "Yeah, I would never have a friend that could be such an ass."

She turned away from him then, planning on walking away. She could hear the other knight suck in a breath of surprise. If they knew she was a girl, and she was pretty sure they didn't, she wondered what their reaction would've been.

"Or I one who could be so stupid." he snapped back with a surprising lack of venom, not that he didn't hate her but he didn't seem very experienced in expressing hate rather complaining is what she would guess that he would be better at.

Still she stopped because what harm could one scuffle do? This kid was a brat. He continued, "Do you know how to walk on your knees Merlin?"

She turned her head to glance at him still facing in the opposite direction, "No."

"Would you like me to help you?" he said with a smile.

Her eyes narrowed, "I wouldn't if I were you." she practically growled.

He laughed at her words, underestimating her, "Why? What are you going to do to me?"

She thought him full of himself, childish. She wished to make him understand fear, "You have no idea." and he didn't, not one clue.

"Be my guest. Come on. Come on. Come oooon." he teased.

Screw staying out of trouble was her only thought as she took a swing that he redirected to the left side of his head which gave her the opening to slam her elbow into his cheek. He grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back but she felt satisfied. She may not have done any damage, but where she hit him would bruise and he would be forced to remember what acting like an ass will get you. 

The other Knight's eyes widened and there were a few whispers of whoa. Gwen, who had peered through one of the curtains at sometime during the exchange, cringed.

"That was a dirty move," he said tossing her down and touching his cheek in suprise. It was a dirty move but sometimes those are the best ones, "I'll have you thrown in jail for that."

"Who do you think you are," she growled, "The king."

He stood tall then, "No, I'm his son. Arthur."

She mumbles 'shit' as the guards dragged her down to the dungeon and she wondered who would be more angry at her, her mother or Gaius.

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

It was only a few minutes later that Mary in the disguise of Helen reached the castle and was greeted by Uther. It was a warmer welcome than she would've had if he knew who she really was. That was, of course, what she was going to use to her advantage. No one would suspect Helen.

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

Gaius found his way to Uther to beg for forgiveness on behalf of his niece and he was lucky to find the King is a rather good mood, having just greeted the Lady Helen and not yet having fought with Morgana today.

"Yes, Gaius." the King greeted.

"Your Majesty," Gaius said with a bow, "I was wondering if I couldn't convince you to let my niece Merlin out of the Dungeon sooner than you would normally allow."

"Niece?" Uther asked confused, "I don't believe any girls have been brought in recently."

Gaius coughed a bit to clear his throat "Her name is Merlin and I believe..."

He was cut off by the king with a frown on his face, "You mean the scrawny boy that was brought in for a fight with Arthur is actually a girl."

"Yes Sir. She's a bit wild and because of that her mother sent her here with the hope that she could learn to control herself."

Uther chuckled a bit then said, "Yes, tomorrow morning go retrieve the girl but why doesn't she spend a few hours in the stocks in return."

Gaius could see nothing unreasonable about the request so nodded and thanked the King for his kindness, and left before he could change his mind. Uther's deep chuckles followed him out of the throne room.

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

Merlin woke on the floor of the Dungeon with a small stack of hay under her and the feeling that someone had been speaking her name quietly. She moved her head closer to the floor and the voice calling her name seemed to get louder.

Then her name was said loudly then as the cell door was opened causing her to jump.

"You never cease to amaze me! The one thing that someone like you should do is keep your head down, and what do you do? You behave like an idiot."

"Sorry." she said though she didn't really feel all that sorry, but Gaius didn't need to know that.

Gaius sighed and she waited for the bad news, "You're lucky. I managed to pull a few strings to get you released."

That wasn't the bad news that she had been expecting and that made her all the more giddy, "Oh, thank you. Thank you." she said and even though he gave her a disapproving look at her excitement she continued on, "I won't forget this." and she wouldn't.

"Well, there is a small price to pay."

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

That was how Merlin found herself in the stocks with kids throwing vegetables at her. Gaius stayed for a little while to laugh at her predicament but then he had to leave and she found herself in a better mood than she thought possible.

"Thank you!" she called to the kids in good humor as they left to get more vegetables to throw at her.

That was when a girl about her age approached, "I'm Guinevere, but most people call me Gwen. I'm the Lady Morgana's maid."

Merlin smiled at her, "I'm Merlin," she said reaching a hand farther out of the stocks to shake Gwen's hand, "But most people just call me Idiot."

"No, no, no. I saw what you did. It was brave." Gwen said with a smile as she attempted to comfort this new person.

"It was stupid." and it was stupid to start a fight with someone who she didn't know but she didn't regret the fight.

"I'm glad that it was stopped though. You wouldn't have beaten him." Gwen honestly and with a sympathetic smile.

"Oh I could've beaten him." Merlin answered with a smirk.

"You think? Because you don't look like one of these big, muscle-y kind of fellows." Gwen said looking like she didn't believe Merlin could've done much.

"Thanks." Merlin answered heavily with sarcasm.

"No! No, I'm sure you're stronger than you look. It's just, erm... Arthur's one of these real rough, tough, save the world kind of men, and... well..." Gwen was getting flustered and Merlin found this entertaining.

"What?"

"You don't look like that." she whispered, looking down.

"Honestly I would hope that I didn't look like that," Gwen's eyes shot up to hers, "You know, being a girl and all."

Now Gwen looked horrified, "I'm sorry I thought...you looked like...they said...you don't, I mean that I didn't think..."

Merlin cut her off feeling that this could go on forever if she let it, "It's fine, I just finished traveling and these clothes are more comfortable. I purposely tie up my hair so it doesn't get in my way and as I result I look like a boy. I don't mind."

Gwen laughed now that she relaxed a bit, "Well, it's good that you stood up to him."

"Really? You think?"

She nodded, "Arthur's a bully, and everyone thought you were a real hero."

"Awesome." Merlin said with a smirk and Gwen smiled, and that was when Merlin saw the children racing back with more things to throw and so she politely dismissed Gwen, "My fans await. You should get going." 

Gwen nodded and as soon as she was out of the line of fire food started flying.

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

When Merlin got back to Gaius's chambers she sat down for a meal and he jokingly asked, "Want some vegetables with that?"

"Haha. Very funny." Merlin said with a raised eyebrow, "I know you're still mad at me."

"Your mother wanted me to look after you." he said seriously.

Merlin knew that she did, and she knew that it was because she cared, they both did. Still she didn't think that it was impossible to restrain her, and she knew that it was impossible to restrain her magic. "I know."

"What did your mother tell you about your gifts?"

She could see the curiosity, "That I was special." she said with a shrug.

"You are special, the likes of which I have never seen."

She raised an eyebrow at that. How special could she possibly be, "What do you mean?"

"Well, magic requires incantations, spells. It takes years to study. What I saw you do was... elemental, instinctive."

She shrugged, what did it matter. "What's the point if it can't be used?" she asked.

"That I do not know. You are a question that has never been posed before, Merlin."

Great, another way that she was different. "Did you ever study magic?"

"Uther banned all such works twenty years ago."

That wasn't an answer and she knew it, but maybe he didn't want to talk about it, and who was she to force him to. That being said if he wants to change the topic she would follow his lead, "Why?"

"People used magic for the wrong end at that time. It threw the natural order into chaos. Uther made it his mission to destroy everything from back then, even the dragons."

She couldn't believe that people with power would always make the wrong choice. She could feel the power in her and yet she knew that it didn't and wouldn't change her. Still she had a more pressing question, "What, all of them?"

"There was one dragon he chose not to kill, kept it as an example. He imprisoned it in a cave deep beneath the castle where no one can free it. Now, eat up. When you've finished, I need you to take a preparation to Lady Helen. She needs it for her voice."

She nodded and prepared to go on the errand for Gaius but she couldn't stop thinking about the poor dragon that was imprisoned because she thinks death would be preferable than being alone, trapped.

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

Merlin headed up to Helen's room and though her thoughts were preoccupied the moment she entered the room she felt something was off, but she couldn't quite place was it was.

It was strange the mirrors were covered and so she let her instincts lead her and rushed to investigate what she could, but then she heard footsteps and rushed to put everything back where it was. Everything was almost perfectly in place when Helen walked in and the feeling she had been getting was worse but she ignored it, no need to cause anymore problems.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Sorry," she said meekly because she really didn't like the feel of this room, "Gaius asked me to drop this off for you."

Helen took it and Merlin turned to leave not realizing that if she had just looked at the mirror behind her she would've seen what was causing her to have this feeling.

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

Merlin was walking across the square with things on her mind so when she saw Arthur and his group of Knights she thought it best to ignore them, especially since Gaius was still upset with her.

"How's your knee-walking coming along?"

She had decided to ignore him though. She was not going to disappoint anyone anymore, to the best of her ability anyway.

"Aw, don't run away." he called with that cocky voice of his.

She stopped even though she hadn't planned to. She remembered why she had hit him in the first place. She sighed, so much for not getting in trouble. "From you?" she asked in disbelief.

"Thank god, I thought you deaf as well as dumb." Arthur sighed.

"Look, I told you were an ass," she said slowly as if he was the dumb one as she turned to face him, "I just didn't realise you were a royal one," she saw the guards tense and move toward her, "Oh, what are you going to do? Get your daddy's men to protect you?"

"I could take you apart with one blow." he laughed.

"And I could take you apart with less than that," she said answering immediately without thinking, but she wouldn't take it back and it was true.

"Are you sure?" Arthur teased.

A few of the other knights began to egg them on, encouraging a fight.

Merlin was already planning out scenarios that would put Arthur on his arrogant ass. She slipped off her jacket and Arthur laughed.

A knight handed Arthur two maces, and he tossed one at her. She didn't catch it and Arthur swung his mace at her head, but she had enough time to duck, grab the mace on the ground and swing it at his legs. He jumped back in time and narrowed his eyes at her.

Now they were separated by a few feet, each holding a mace. "Come on then, I warn you, I've been training to kill since birth."

She smirked, "Wow," she said faking an impressed voice, but it was obviously fake,"And how long have you been training to be a prat?"

He snorted, "You can't address me like that."

He jumped forward and took a swing and she dropped to the ground moving forward. They were facing each other again but on opposite sides this time.

"I'm sorry," she said, "How long have you been training to be a prat, My Lord." she responded giving a little bow.

She was sure he could see the sarcasm as she spoke and with every move she made. That would explain his annoyed grin.

Then Arthur got serious. His swings were faster and while she was dodging them fine she wasn't returning as many attacks as she would like. Neither had landed a blow on the other but it was getting closer as time when on and their fight progressed. She knew that she was going to loose, or she did until they wound up in a market stall.

"Come on, Merlin, come on!" Arthur called and she did just that.

When Arthur raised his mace her eyes flashed gold and his mace got stuck in a rope hanging down. By the time he pulled it free she was back on her feet and he was charging. Her eyes flashed again and a box moved into Arthur's way and he banged his shin on it. "Ow, Arg!" he hollered but shook it off almost immediately.

Merlin moved to attack again but the stall was cramped and she ended up falling again on a stack of hay, "You're in trouble now," Arthur teased as he approached.

"God," she said as she tried to find something to use to her advantage, and found it as a rope lying on the floor.

She pulled the rope with magic and he fell giving her time to pick up the mace and ready herself for an attack, "Do you want to give up?" she asked with a teasing smirk.

"To you?" he questioned, as if even the notion was impossible, but it didn't stop him from taking a few steps back which caused him to fall all on his own.

She was about to declare her victory when she caught sight of Gaius in the crowd, and, noticing her distraction, Arthur took advantage and attacked her from behind, with a broom. She could feel the sting of the blow already.

Now that the fight was over the guards moved to retrieve her but to both her, and their, surprise Arthur stopped them, "Wait. Let him go. He may be an idiot, but he's a brave one. There's something about you, Merlin. I can't quite put my finger on it."

She almost wanted to tell him what it was. Not the magic part but the girl part but thought better of it since she had just been let off the hook and she could see Gaius waiting on the sidelines for her. She wished she kept that promise to herself about no more trouble.

~~lovemepleaselovemepleaselovemepleaselovemeplease~~

When they got back to Gaius's chambers he wasted no time beginning to chew her out. Not that she blamed him but he should trust her at least a little bit more.

"How could you be so foolish?" he asked in frustration as he rummaged through drawers and cabinets to find what he was looking for.

"He needed to be taught a lesson!" she responded and she thought she was being pretty reasonable. If he hadn't been the prince she might not have been as annoyed. Will was right, those who rule were perverted with power, not magic users.

"Magic must be studied, mastered, and used for good! Not for idiotic pranks!"

Why couldn't he get magic wasn't a skill but part of her, "What's there to study or master! I've been able to move objects like that then before I could talk!"

"Then by now you should know how to control yourself!"

"I don't want to! If I can't use magic, what have I got?! I'm just a nobody, and I always will be. If I can't use magic, I might as well die."

She turned and headed to her bed chamber. He didn't understand and she was getting angry. She had to calm herself.

By the time Gaius followed her up with all of his materials she was calmer and it appered he was as well because he didn't argue with her just commanded her, "Remove that shirt."

She does, pulling it over her head leaves her with just her binds on and she can she see a few bruises but she knows the worst are on her back, from falling, and the one on her shoulder, from the broom.

"You don't know why I was born like this, do you?"

He shook his head, "No, I don't."

"I wasn't exaggerating," she said causing him to look her, "I tried really hard once, when I was five, to not use magic. I knew that using it scared my mom and that was the last thing I wanted to do so I stopped. This was before Will knew so no one but mom realized that I was trying to be different, normal. It made her happy I think, or it did before it scared her. My magic built up since it wasn't being released regularly, or at least I think that's what happened. Anyway after about a week I felt like my head was going to explode and mom told me I couldn't do something and I got mad. The next thing we knew it was storming horribly and the fire in the fireplace was almost out of control."

Gaius went back to tending to her wounds and after a few minutes of silence she asked completely seriously, "I'm not a monster am I?"

Sometimes, when she's angry, she can believe that she's a monster, but most of the time she's just upset that she has to hide and can't be herself. Gaius stopped what he was doing and looked her in the eye, "Don't ever think that."

"Then why am I like this? I just want to understand."

"Maybe someone more knowledgable then me will know."

But she had never met someone who knew more than him, "If you don't know then no one will."

Gauis didn't say anything else on the subject but handed her a potion and said, "Take this, it will help with the pain," he got up to leave then turned around, "Then go to sleep. You'll need the rest."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? and I know I originally said each episode would be about two chapters but I have a short attention span and the shorter it is the more likely I am to write.

**Author's Note:**

> Did I do well so far? Just to let you know it will become more and more different from the show the more this story progresses.


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